I want to share three immensely personal stories about several deeply wanted children in my family and reproductive healthcare in America. These stories are increasingly common and I tell them to show the consequences of anti-abortion laws on routine healthcare. As a man, I hope these stories demonstrate that “women’s issues” affect ALL of us in life-changing ways.
In 1995, I was 5 years old and my middle brother was 2. We were too young to know at the time, but our mother experienced a miscarriage requiring medical attention. Miscarriages occur in an estimated 20% of all pregnancies. Many of the medical procedures for treating a miscarriage are the same as those used in an abortion and outlawed by several state abortion bans.
In Wisconsin, where we lived, state law has now reverted to a total abortion ban written in 1849 that could have prevented her prompt medical treatment. Had my mom been forced to go into sepsis to enable treatment as a “life-threatening” situation, I could have lost my mother at 5 and my two youngest siblings would not exist. Cases of this scenario have been documented in Texas and Georgia.
In 2017, my wife and I had a successful in-vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle, resulting in the birth of our healthy son in 2018. We were fortunate that health insurance in Maryland covers IVF by law. However, we feared the Republican Congress would eliminate protections for pre-existing conditions, such as infertility. This fear is ongoing: on September 17, Senate Republicans voted 44-2 against even debating the “Right to IVF Act”, which would guarantee for others the medical options we enjoyed to create our family.
Furthermore, under new “fetal personhood” laws, stored embryos are in legal limbo. In Alabama, these laws drove IVF clinics to fear the routine handling and disposal of embryos could result in criminal charges, requiring further legislation. These laws also impact several forms of birth control, including IUDs and Plan B, which prevent implantation of a fertilized egg – the “murder” of a so-called “fetal person”.
In 2023, my brother chose to start a family with his partner in Idaho. After one appointment with their OBGYN, their local hospital shut down their labor and delivery services due to Idaho’s total abortion ban. Both the hospital and doctors acknowledged they could no longer provide an adequate standard of care under the restrictive laws. The nearest hospital for routine childbirth moved an hour away to Coure d’Alene or Spokane, where many former nurses at Bonner General relocated across state lines. Fortunately, my brother’s young family was able to move in with my dad in Portland, Oregon to access healthcare for my nephew and his mom.
I share these 3 stories to show how these laws have impacted my family’s trajectory with several deeply wanted children. In this country, healthcare should not depend on where you live. Abortion is a part of routine and emergency care. The intended and unintended consequences of these laws force decisions no family should have to go through.
We should not tolerate our mothers, wives, partners, and daughters having more medical rights in 1995 than they do today. Fortunately, we still have the power to change this situation: With all 435 representatives and 33 senators up for election, your vote matters, no matter where you live. Both sides are not “the same” on this and many other issues. Enshrining abortion and other healthcare protections is the Democratic Party’s platform. Meanwhile, Donald Trump has refused to commit to veto a nationwide abortion ban.
Furthermore, Project 2025 outlines further restrictions to reproductive healthcare, including a plan to force states to share individual medical records with the federal government, which would allow interstate prosecution of abortions, even in emergency scenarios. In contrast to 2016, anti-abortion activists are empowered by a 6-3 Supreme Court majority and possible legislative majorities in both houses of Congress. This would leave the presidential veto as the only barrier between nationwide abortion restrictions.
Lives are at stake: after the SB8 abortion ban in Texas, maternal mortality is up 56%, with infant mortality also rising 13%. If we exercise our right to vote, we can change our course. It’s easy to find an excuse not to vote – no person or party is perfect – but politics is the art of the possible. A step towards a better future is better than doing nothing or wasting a vote on third parties with no viable path to the presidency.
